Lately I've had a difficult time conveying what's on my mind and putting it into words. Don't get me wrong, I've always got thoughts in my head and words spinning around. My problem is that I can get distracted very easily. I have a room in my house (my son's old room ... don't worry, I didn't kick him out or anything ... he got married and has his own house now); I worked hard to transform this room into a place that was serene. A place where I could have a writing desk for blogging and a comfy chair for reading. But somehow I let MY special place get away from me. Over the last several months I allowed my space to become a dumping ground; no one did it to me ... I allowed it to happen.
I suddenly found the corners filled with a pile a mail to go to my son's the next time I saw him, a basket full of catalogs that were meant for my mom but being forwarded to my address since she now resides in a nursing home, a bag of snacks and items to go with me on my weekly visit to see her, etc., etc.
My life has changed a lot in the last year or so, new and increasing responsibilities have been added to my plate. My day, just like everyone else's, sadly still just has 24 hours. There never seems to be enough time to accomplish all the things I have to do, let alone create extra time for blogging and doing some of the things I want to do - things I need to do.
The piles in my room, like the responsibilities, had become distractions that were keeping me off balance. I needed to reclaim that balance, it wasn't feeling healthy anymore. I can't necessarily eliminate the responsibilities, but I could get rid of the piles! The 'stuff' in my room was exactly that; 'stuff'. At the same time it also became a visible metaphor for a part of my life. The part I felt I was losing control over.
Last weekend my ever-patient and supportive husband and daughter helped me to reclaim part of my balance. We eliminated the piles, we removed the corner TV, we rearranged the furniture, and we moved a 2-drawer cabinet into the closet ... out of sight, out of mind. I can still organize my necessary paperwork, but I won't have to look at it all the time. My carpet is now clear, as well as my vision. I can sit here right now at my desk and look up and across the room. I can look out the window at my yard with green grass and tree branches gently moving in the breeze. My desk no longer faces a wall.
What has this experience taught me? That sometimes we need to change the view in order to see more clearly.
Have you experienced being 'off balance'? What was causing it? What did you do to get back to where you wanted to be?
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